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School is the worst experience EVER

 I'm considering moving back to my old school. They did say I'd always have a place to go back to, in the event my new school turned out as fucking crap as the old one.

Well, on Monday I was being stalked by some typical twats. In case you can't guess, Belladonna isn't my real name. Well, I absolutely HATE my birth name. So I go by nicknames online and get called by a shortened version of my birth name at school. However, we had a sub, who stupidly didn't know what my name was and called me by my old name (my short name is on the register but so is my official name). So they all followed me, calling me by my birth name in that intimidating way bullies do to try and provoke a reaction. Well, I sat ignoring them, you know, head down and pretend you can't heard them. I don't know why people say you should do that, it never works, but I don't know how else to react. But, a couple of them were in my art class, and they followed me. They kept on pissing me off through the lesson, then near the end one of them grabbed my book, scribbled out my name and wrote my full name.

I hit him.

I was so ashamed. The whole point of going to this school was to avoid getting that sort of rep! I don't want to be a kid to be tormented until she hits out and amuses whoever dodges. But I lost my temper terribly for a second and hit him hard. I don't know how hard it was, but it hurt my hand a lot so it probably hurt his head too.

That was last lesson yesterday. I didn't go to school today because I had a meeting with my shrink (when the shrink's office is an hours drive away from your house and an hour and a half from your school and all you have as a taxi service are your very busy working parents, it's hard to get there and back in time for school).

I am dreading tomorrow. I get the idea I'm going to be faced by idiots getting in my face and a vengeful smack in the face (I admit I deserve the latter).

Also, I started crying in my therapy session. I've never done that before.

Last night I found a spider in my pillow. I am a huge arachnophobe and I hate everything with eight legs. So I'm sleeping in the spare room now, which I also hate. It is freezing. Do my parents hate guests or something? Why so cold?

But, yeah, if they start picking on me in this school I'm going back.

Ok, wtf? Most Haunted was done in a house build on an indian burial ground. Tre tacky!

Also, wikipedia is officially insane. They tell you the correct meaning of the phrase 'fuck off and die' Me and my friends used to say 'foad' in text convos.

Also, we say 'So Long And Goodnight' (it's an MCR thing) but have recently started shortening it to 'S.L.A.G.' which sound insulting.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Mar. 4th, 2009 04:09 am (UTC)
I'm amazed that so many people make it through high school without shooting up the place. I don't miss it.

Stay sane!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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